Dating out of pity
Initially, I was shocked to hear that he’d been diagnosed with (an unspecified) form of cancer.He’s the same age as I am (24) and, from what I’d seen when we were closer, led an active healthy life. As the conversation progressed, he added more details about hospital visits, damage to his spine, how he was unable to walk and about how his parents were helping him with very basic functions.Let’s all thank my good friend Stef for Nice Guy Tip 5 because believe it or not… We’ll pout, whine, or even cry in the same manner in which a child might manipulate their parents in the only way a child knows how – by throwing a fit.Too many nice guys have attempted to manipulate her into getting a “Pity Date.” Some of us will actually try to guilt a woman into going out with us. Perfectly acceptable for a child who has not matured socially but as a grown adult it backfires and does NOT create attraction.
Pity is more spectator-like than compassion; we can pity people while maintaining a safe emotional distance from them.I talked to him and told him to never do that again, but his self-esteem is really low.You’d never even guess because he has such a quirky personality, which is why I was so surprised to learn that he was dealing with so much.I’ve been friends with this boy for a long time, and we have a lot in common.Recently I found out that he self-harms and has even attempted suicide.
Typical attitudes of compassion address those near and dear who need constant help, for example, a family member seriously ill, mentally retarded, or physically disabled.